This is a love letter.

Tunde Walsh AMBCS
7 min readFeb 10, 2022

I met you as a stranger, took you as a friend.

I hope our long friendship will never end.

Our friendship is like a magnet; it pulls us together,

Because no matter where we are, our friendship will last forever!

From ‘Best Friend’ by Mizscorpio.

(This is a love letter to Mary-Jane Thomas, Funke Moore, Lizzy Ej, Bimbọla Amao, Kofo, Olubunmi Olugbẹkan, Titi Olubi, Ibironkẹ Oni-Orisan, Busọla Alagbe, Gbọla, Mojisọla Onasọla. Two of you I haven’t sighted in more than 20 years, and the rest, I haven’t seen in almost 10 years….Whenever I think of those (halcyon) days when we had little or no care in the world, I find myself either smiling or shaking my head.)

May The Circle Come Round Again

The wonderful tie that binds: What separates and connects old dear friends?

Courtesy: Samantha Sophia, Unsplash

Friendship is a beautiful thing.

No one can really say what friendship is, but we all know it when we see it. Friendship has been a staple of human society for millennia and people have traditionally viewed friends as the family you choose. The dictionary defines a friend as “a person whom one knows well and likes.” We also define friends in terms of being someone who will help another during difficult times or troubles with no expectations of return benefits. Friends are special to us because they offer understanding without judgment, honesty without malice, empathy without pity. When we are friends with someone, we know that we will be accepted for who we are and what we do. We feel secure and confident in the knowledge that our friend will have our back when times get tough. They will offer support, encouragement, and advice when needed. The best part is that they won’t hold it against us if we don’t take their advice! Great friends are treasures to have. They stand by us through thick and thin, sickness and health, good times and bad. A true friend is not just a person who is present when things go well; they are also there to catch you when you fall.

“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.” — Elisabeth Foley

When you meet up with an old friend, it’s a great feeling.

It’s a great feeling when you meet up with an old friend. It reminds you of the good times and puts your current worries on hold for a while. But what separates former friends? Why is it worth re-establishing old ties? The answer to this is in the unfathomable power of real friendships. Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people. It is a strong form of interpersonal bond. “Friendship is born at the moment one person says to another ‘What! You too?’ It doesn’t matter who said that first,” writes American author E B White in his children’s book Charlotte’s Web. “ We just know they both felt exactly alike about something — even if neither knew quite what it was they were agreeing about. “

But many former friends lose sight of each other over time. Why? And importantly, how can we reconnect when our lives take such different paths? There was no Internet, and people traveled less frequently, in the past because flying was expensive and traveling by sea and road took several weeks. Thus when friends went their separate ways, there was no way to keep in touch.

Courtesy: Dim Hou, Unsplash.

“Whatever happened to Janet/John from college? It would be good to know how they are faring these days.” Now though, flights are cheap and no more elitist, regular travels by air are no more for only the rich. In addition, former friends can reconnect on Facebook or other social media sites. Millions of people are reconnecting with dear old friends instead of wondering “whatever happened to Janet/John”

Like me in recent weeks, are there friends you have been longing to see? Is every song on the radio reminding you of a certain dear old friend? Yes, are there some old ties you want to re-establish, but don’t know how, here are some tips:

First, try contacting your friend directly if you have an email address or phone number for him or her. If not, you can always search for your old pal on Facebook and send a friend request with a short note explaining why you’re reaching out — especially if your friend has moved far away since the last time you saw each other. If you want to reconnect with a former friend from high school, you can also try searching for him or her on Google.

Once you’ve made contact, it’s best to be patient. No matter how eager you are to rekindle an old friendship, the other person may not be as enthusiastic. It’s up to you to forge the path forward; don’t try to force your friend into doing something that makes him or her uncomfortable.

If your friend is receptive to the idea of reconnecting, start by keeping the conversation light and casual and don’t delve into heavy topics like past relationships or your friend’s current romantic situation.

Tip #1: Don’t Overdo It. After this initial reconnection, it’s fine to exchange occasional emails or text messages, but don’t push for frequent long chats. This can be overwhelming for the other person and may even scare him or her off.

If your friend has a significant other, it’s important to respect his or her privacy. Keep your interactions with the other person low-key and avoid asking personal questions about the relationship.

Tip #2: Avoid the “Where Have You Been?” Question: You’ve been friends for a long time, so you may feel comfortable asking about your friend’s life. However, it’s best to avoid asking where he or she has been or what he or she has been up to. Keep the focus on the present and future, rather than on the past, and don’t Get Too Personal Too Soon.

It can be tempting to dig into your friend’s personal life when you reconnect after a long period of time. You may want to know all about his or her new job, marital status, and family life. However, try not to Get Too Personal Too Soon.

Tip #3: Don’t Just Talk About Yourself: It is great that you want to reconnect with your friend, but don’t just talk about yourself. While it is important to share information about your life and interests, try not to monopolize the conversation. Instead, ask questions and let your friend share some of his or her own experiences. If you are in a long-distance friendship, try asking questions to learn more about his or her family or friends.

Kindel Media, Pexels

Tip #4: Don’t Let Pride Get in the Way. If you have a friend with who you’ve lost touch with, don’t let pride get in the way of rekindling the friendship. Even if your friend doesn’t seem to want to be friends again, it is important that you are honest with yourself about why this happened. This will help you avoid making the same mistake again and having the same problem later on.

Tip #5: Don’t Expect Anything. If you have been friends with someone for a long time and you have some unresolved issues, don’t expect to be friends again right away. Give both of you time to think about what went wrong, and what it will take to make the friendship work again.

Tip #6: Move forward. Start making new memories together. Whether you’re video chatting once a week or taking a girls’ weekend to Vegas or Paris once a year — maintain that band you’ve rekindled. This is the whole reason why you’ve reconnected.

Matthieu Joannon on Unsplash

A TOAST TO FRIENDSHIP.

It may seem strange to make that first move. But really, what do you have to lose? Go on make the move. You know you want to.

This is a love letter

……All of us are now mothers, a few are even grandmothers. All of us are scattered all over the world

If you haven’t guessed by now … I miss ya

Here’s a toast ….to wonderful friends.

Hasta la Vista

Till the Circle Comes Round Again

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Tunde Walsh AMBCS

studied languages/economics/cybersecurity♦️free spirit♦️ethical hacker♦️giver of zero effs♦️an incurable optimist♦️keen on entrepreneurship & soc care